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Samara

Diary

Evolution of Heartbreak

November 27, 2017

A tonne can happen in just a year, as I have just discovered living in Canada!

Its been almost a year since I left the beautiful state of Western Australia on a one way ticket to Canada. In the last 365 days I have met some of the most incredible souls, and spent most of my time skiing, ice skating, fishing, and exploring the great province of Alberta, Canada.

It began when the person I spent a huge chunk of my adult life with, shared with me that they were no longer in love with me. No longer in love with my laugh, nor my touch or my spirit. Someone I saw a future unfolding with, saw their future without me. My world fell silent, I started to decay. I thought I could fix it, bring it back to what it was, become who I thought I ought to become. Trust me folks, it did not work. Within a week of accepting what I interpreted as ‘it’s not me, it’s you’, I felt my world cracking and rapidly eroding around me. I became a lifeless shell of a human but it was not allowed to last long. Mothers. Boy can Moms manage crisis like pure Queens. My sweet and harsh mother visited me between her work contracts, and started asking too many questions about why I was being so damn emotional. I burst, and told her everything I had endured the last 6 months leading to this point. I never tell her a thing, but heartbreak tends to bring the most rational of people down to their knees. She ordered me to pick myself up, wipe those stupid tears, and pack those goddamn bags. And that is exactly what I did. I had 6 days to pack. I quit my incredible marketing job at an international company, and boarded with a one way ticket to the other side of the world.

I had nothing but doubt… but heck, I’d already lost my world as I knew it, how could it get any worse, right?

I spent 3 months finding my feet. 1 month of tackling adult hood alone- things like, grocery shopping alone & what foods do I actually not like? 1 month of finding courage to try new things, like going to the bar with a group of drop dead gorgeous gal pals, talking to cute bois and dancing in ugly outdoor sandals. My final was a month of exploration- catching the train to the city, finding shady parks and walking the trails through woods as the seasons changed. Those three months were healing, but I needed to work. I landed a gig as a Night Audit in the mountain town of Banff, Alberta.

“You’re the least qualified but the most enthusiastic so I guess you got the job” – boss man, 2016.

It feels like when you come out of a relationship you have to figure ‘you’ out again. Its exhausting and scary. Who the fuck am I? I still don’t know. The winter went on and I started finding confidence in myself. I made some friends, a couple of kindred spirits, and was able to giggle for the first time in many years. I missed friends. Companions. People that were brutally honest and kept things adorably real. Never let these type of people slip from your life. They are the gemstones of your being, regardless of where you roam, these souls will have your best interests at heart, more so than any romantic partner could ever give you.

 

The winter came, I fell in love as the snow fell. In love with skiing. It became my universe. I would work 11pm til 7am, race home and throw on my gear, then waddle down the ice path to the bus that would whisk me into the mountains. I would ski all morning, mostly solo, people tend to be hungover every goddamn day in the mountains. At 1pm I would make my way to the bar to see my pal Alex and taste whatever juicy shot/s he decided I needed, before blindly finding my way back to town and into bed. Eat Work Ski Sleep Repeat. Skiing is freedom. Its the ability to carve your lines, move til your muscles shake, freeze your teeth from smiling as you whizz down hills and through trees and eat shit over and over again. Its a feeling hard to describe, but one of pure undiluted joy. If it were a juice, it would be called “Joy: 200% Concentrate !consume with caution!” and you would be warned not to feed it to children or those of unsound mind.

And so, the seasons changed, I moved to the next town called Canmore, purchased a shitty car, and worked 10-13 hours a day. I lived in temporary accommodation and rode my bike into stationary sign posts at night. (ok that was just that one time, and it hurt.) I wore myself out. 4 months of work, sleep, work. I just wanted to ski goddamnit.

That’s when I got the call. “You should come and make some real money.” It was the carrot dangled before my eyes. I guess you could say I spend a lot of time on indecision, so much so, that sometimes, just sometimes, I jump and yell, “yep thatll do lets do that sure thing why not what the heck lock it in Eddy” and I had 10 days before my flight back to the land down under.

 

Experiences Road tripping

Cruising Kananaskis Country

July 11, 2017

Its now July, the heat has arrived and my fishing rod is permanently rigged in the back of my ‘new’ 2001 Toyota Hilander named Fern! I’m working up to 13 hours a day just trying to pay off some monies owing, which is a whole new story to come, but in between shifts I have managed to find some of the best little escapes the Bow Valley and surroundings have to offer.

Here’s just a summary of things I can get up to on an afternoon off from work

Kananaskis Trail to Smith-Dorrien Trail

You know that feeling when you finish work, the sun is shining, and you don’t want to waste one second more of it inside? I get these vibes every damn day, but luckily I live in the most beautiful part of the country. I recently purchased my very own sick-rig named Fern and have been driving her to her limits through the back roads of Kananaskis Country. Starting in Canmore, I head out on the Trans-Canada Highway towards Calgary, taking the Kananaskis exit towards the Casino. This road has endless stops to take in the breathtaking scenery. It winds through the towering mountains and pine forests, alongside rivers and over streams.

There are aqua green ponds, remote trails leading into the wilderness, and winding rivers stretching alongside the road.

Destinations Road tripping

What to do in York, WA – a rural town in Western Australia

March 1, 2016

Remote Northern Western Australia can only be described as a desert- extreme temperatures, and dunes with scrub for miles. As you venture south towards the great city of Perth, small valleys and wooded stretches of road become a sign of relief, and you begin to search out every high-point, hill or mountain, you can find to scramble up and enjoy the view of vast open land.

Located inland (East) from Perth, and boarded by a wonderfully ‘cruisy’ stretch of road, you will stumble upon the tiny town of York. The Shire of York boasts the oldest inland town in Western Australia, and is about a 2 hour drive from the coast- located in the Wheatbelt.

A perfect day trip for anyone finding themselves unhappy in Perth or curious about the surrounds, York is gilded in the sentiments of an iconic and historic Australian town. A quick browse of slightly underwhelming reviews on TripAdvisor gave me a general understanding of what I was in for when my boyfriend requested I grab my camera, the dog, and hit the road to York.

I left Fremantle around 6am and had a leisurely 2 hour drive up the range. Upon arriving in York, WA, the first stop was the 24hr Rest Stop where Luke was camped out at. After a quick coffee and run with the dog, we hit up York Visitors Centre for a de-brief. The Information Matron rattled off an overwhelming amount of things to do and see during our short weekend stay, and advised us to make a plan since many shops closed early (1-2pm) and some were shut on Sundays. After a quick scribble of notes we were away!

What to do in York, WA

Get to town early on a Saturday morning (at 9am) to have the best country town experience.

Firstly, Get to the Bakery

Small towns have a damn good baker, and York is no exception. The bakery boys were the busiest in town, and my god, get yourself a spinach roll, vegetarian pie, and beef pie. While you’re there, add an apple turnover to the list, pull up a chair, and eat yourself stupid. The bakery was adequately priced and the food was fresh.

Visit the Information Centre

Located in the Town Hall, the visitor centre in itself is a must see. As you enter the mid 1800’s building you will be greeted by gorgeous Jarrah floors, a detailed pressed tin roof, and a curved staircase. Walk straight through the doors on the lower level and be greeted by an enormous hall with light pouring down from the roof, and a stage worth twirling on. You can clearly imagine the ‘olden days’ as you dance through this empty hall.

The Lolly Shop

Stroll alongside the herritige buildings dating back from the mid 1800’s, until you reach the Lolly Shop. This shop is packed to the brim with every sweet under the sun. Browse through candy collections or settle on an old favourite

The Olive Factory

Head back on the highway and a 5 minute drive will land you at the York Olive Factory. Browse through a collection of delicious spreads and sauces from around regional Australia, and give the Olive Oil a taste. There’s lemon and chilli, as well as the regular. The highlight of this place for us was the home made flying fox! We had a few runs up and down to burn off our tasty Nutella and Caramel homemade ice-cream!


  
  
  

Perts Pantry

The Mill Cafe is a gorgeous spot for a cuppa, and if you stroll around the side you’ll find yourself in a sculpture garden! Just a little further around that corner and you’ll find a shed ‘General Store’ full of wonderful nick nacks, and finally, next to that shed, there’s a little room called Perts Pantry. This is the best place to stock up on local produce!

The Swing Bridge

As you stroll back into town you’ll follow the signs to the Public Toilets in the park next to the river. This park has a convict-built swing bridge that joins both sides of the river. You can’t resist jumping up and down to see how much force the bridge actually takes! It has recently been maintained with new floor boards and is worth a photo op!

The Lookout

As the sun starts setting, make your way up the hill towards the Lookout. It is here you’ll have a great perspective of how the town is nestled in the valley. We spent the sunset snapping silly photos with our dog and sipping cheap wine while the clouds rolled over and the land turned pink.

The Pub

By now you should be joyfully tipsy and starting getting hungry, and the Pub is the place to be. Step inside and be taken back to the 18th century, with green velvet carpets, original wooden features, and posters from festivals dating back to the 50’s. We ordered the daily special each, Chicken Pineapple Parmigiana’s and a schooner of Swan beer, and rolled back to our base. There’s an entertaining bar area and pool table, as well as a separate dining room in which Luke believes he likely saw a ghost. A very interesting place worth a mozey.

Accommodation

York is full of unique accommodation options. You really need to stay the night to appreciate every aspect of this town and there’s something for every budget. From a farm stay out of town, to bed and breakfasts, a simple motel room, or even free-camp at the 24hr rest stop. The town caters for tourists fantastically and even provides RV and Caravaners with free power and a field of green shady grass. Ideal for our dog and plenty of space for the van.

During our quick little York adventure, we fell in love with the tiny town. It had just enough to offer for day-trippers and overnighters, so we certainly were not bored for a minute! The food and dining options were endless and it was a great weekend away from Perth with your pets and partner!

 

Diary

Finding Nowhere

August 27, 2015

As soon as the sun rays lifted above the horizon it set fire to the earth, bringing swarms of flies. My sweat pooled in every crevasse. It was 5 a.m and as I unzipped the swag, a lone fly came to greet me, the first for the day. They stuck to every surface on my salted body- eyelids, lips, nose, and inside your ears- everywhere they shouldn’t go, they did.

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The camp stove was on, and the coffee brewed. I managed to pester my then-boyfriend enough to rise and rig the boat for our day of exploring and fishing. We only had a brief window where the tides would allow us to launch and retrieve the boat from the shore, so timing was important. As we drove over the crusty red dirt and into the white powdered sand dunes, I couldn’t help but notice the pristine coastline stretching as far as the eye could see. Not a soul in sight but each other.

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He backed the car to the edge of the water as it lapped peacefully against the trailer tires. I unhooked the tinnie and started the motor, throwing in a stupid attempt at a little donut before picking him up from the shore, and off we went, into the bluest of blue waters, towards a glistening horizon, on a journey for finding nowhere. It was at this moment I felt truly ‘alone’- at peace. Just us, the only humans for as far as the eye could see, alone with the big ol’ blue. I thought of how some might call this moment one of ‘calmness’ but it couldn’t be farther.

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The ocean tides were strong, gushing out of the bay and towards the horizon. Birds overhead were screeching to one another; fish were flapping about as sharks pushed them to the surface as their morning meals- this place was ALIVE. There was even a vicious looking sea snake cruising by, and turtles appearing to be mating on the waters’ surface in the distance.

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It was uplifting, the thought of it being just the two of us, completely alone in this giant blue world. It was liberating. The gorgeous weather upheld and the day drew on, as we found reefs and rocks leading us to some spectacular blood pumping, tight lined fishing. Ocean fishing is new to me, quite a contrast from the usual estuaries and freshwater creeks, but even with the wrong gear I managed to score a decent catch throughout the day. Watching the enormous tides turn from our tiny tinnie was a breathtaking experience. We were simply fluff in a washing machine, being thrown around as waves broke in every direction. Not a lip of wind yet we were flung across the big blue like a dandelion– it was time to get out of there.

Returning to camp as a sunburnt cherub, I was a changed soul. My mind was opened and from that day on the water at Cape Leveque, I became scarily addicted to the feeling of being without humans, and oh what a glorious feeling this can be.

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Only in solitude do we find ourselves; and in finding ourselves, we find in ourselves all our brothers in solitude -Miguel De Unamuno

Destinations Hiking

What to do in Chillagoe, a tiny Far North Queensland town

August 20, 2015

North Australia is unlike anything you can possibly imagine. Theres the endless stretch of scrub, the blazing sun, the dry red dust.. if this combination doesn’t make you crazy, the flies sure will. But more than anything, there’s the heat. Just before sunrise, a calm breeze would dance through camp as if tormenting us, because once that sun rose, it would set fire to the land and suffocate us in a blazing inferno of heat. Welcome to Chillagoe, Far North Queensland.

Plenty of water, good shoes, and an Akubra are a must when exploring Chillagoe

Plenty of water, good shoes, and an Akubra are a must when exploring Chillagoe

Chillagoe is a small town 3 hours from Cairns. The drive will take you through dry and remote country, filling you with an overwhelming feeling that you are about to explore a land filled with historic sentiments.

We camped at local show grounds for almost nothing (see the town Visitor Centre to pay a small fee). This is a small empty field with a tap/dump point and toilet/shower shed. We camped in the rear corner, and I much preferred setting up a makeshift outdoor shower over using the germ-pit provided, out of fear of falling through the floor. But the camp experience was not why anyone comes to Chillagoe. Let me share some ideas on what to do in Chillagoe.

We were here to explore the Chillagoe caves, fish the Walsh River, visit the ruins, and sneak around the Australian scrub looking for whatever wildlife we could find.

What to do in Chillagoe

Say G’day to Old Tom

This guy’s a bloody legend, and famous for his unique Ford car collection. If you’re lucky, he’ll let you take a seat in his gleaming red and white 1965 Shelby Mustang in the open garage- it gets the girls, he says. Drop a donation to get him closer to driving his 1958 green 18cwt Freighter around Australia. Well worth the morning visit listening to his passion explode from within.

Get to the Chillagoe Rodeo

May 8-9. You don’t know Queensland if you haven’t experienced a rodeo in the West. The best $25 you will ever spend. Make sure to book the camp grounds as the Chillagoe rodeo brings folks from far and wide. We were bummed to miss out on the rodeo when we visited in September, but it sure makes Chillagoe come alive.

See the Chillagoe Caves

These are the main attraction to Chillagoe, as theres nothing quite like it in North Queensland. You can self-explore the smaller caves if you have the right footwear and lights, however to see the three big guys, you must do a tour with a Ranger. A 3-cave tour will set you back about $50, but there’s cheaper options for the budget-wise fellas like us. By camping at the grounds we could afford to do a two-cave tour and it was definably worth it. Other walking tracks around the area are best to do in the early morning and offer insight to Australian life on the land.

Amazing natural Cathedral- a welcome relief from the scorching sun outside.

Amazing natural Cathedral- a welcome relief from the scorching sun outside.

Check out the Balancing Rock

Yep, nestled along a walking track in the Australian bush you will discover Chillagoe’s Balancing Rock. If you’re running out of ideas on what to do in Chillagoe, go for a walk. Not only is the raw coloured landscape a photographers delight, the unique rock formations formed from Volcanic activity will blow your mind.

A photographers dream! Take advantage of the amazing textures, shaddows, and natural light affects in this unique landscape

A photographers dream! Take advantage of the amazing textures, shadows, and natural light affects in this unique landscape

Standing in awe of the underground cave system that opens up in parts to the sunshine.

Standing in awe of the underground cave system that opens up in parts to the sunshine.

Visit the ruins

Growing up in Cairns you are more than likely to have a school excursion and camp-out to learn about the rich history of Chillagoe and the mining boom that put it on the map. Prospecting is still a huge drawcard to visitors to Chillagoe, and you are still likely to find things from old medicine bottles in dried out creek beds to unique gemstones in clay walls. If scurrying around the scrub in blazing heat isn’t for you, then head to the old Smelters to learn a little more about the old mine. The scale of infrastructure for that era is incredible, not to mention this place feels as if it is in the middle of nowhere! History aside, the ruins makes for some pretty incredible photo-ops. If you’re a budding photographer and running out ideas on what do do in Chillagoe, then I highly recommend heading out to the ruins at night and watch the stars light up the land.

Chillagoe Smelters

Chillagoe Smelters

During our two-day stay we met some of the most unique and interesting locals and travellers alike, from crazy bushmen, talkative grey nomads, and 4wd enthusiasts on their way towards the famous Telegraph Track. I advise you to be prepared for Mars-like conditions and you will fall in love with this cute town. Step out of your zone and have a chat with a stranger, they may even share some insight for finding gemstones, or ways to get to the secret fishing spots. Sit down, enjoy a cold brew, and reflect on the harsh country that is the wild west of Queensland.

Here is a collection of places you can buy bitcoin online right now.

Diary Road tripping

Finding Peace – Making My Australian Van-Life Home

August 17, 2015

Making Australian van-life home and finding peace

Nothing. Nothing is what I had, and yet ‘nothing-ness’ was what I searched for most. I had dreamed of empty space, and had decided that the land of vast open plains- Outback Australia- had to become my home.

‘Home’. My suburb was a sparkling speck on the glowing orange horizon. The window was down and my feet dangled in the humid Queensland breeze as we drove as far as we could away from everything we knew. The first few days were tormenting, traces of humans stalked us at every camp we made. From the low hum of ACDC blasting from a shitty ute across the fields in which we pitched, to ciggie stubs and XXXX cans littered on the croc riddled river bed. We needed to go further, we needed to find Australia- the land, the wilderness, and the outback.

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Anxiety and frustration tangled with excitement and curiosity as the first few days flew by in a heartbeat. I had my tasks –swag set up and damper prep, as did he- fire, chairs and wood collection, and without exchanging words we worked like ants at each glorious sunset.

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North-West Queensland was unlike any country I had seen before– the land was harsh and dry, the dirt was a patchwork of rich red that pierced through fields of sharp rocks and dead grass, and the sky was a dull blue haze with not a cloud in sight.

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He drove in silence, simply following the highway, as I was lost in my mind daydreaming about what great discovery lay ahead. We camped in dry creek beds and at the edge of fields off the highway, constantly aware of a human presence lingering. With every dirt track, we veered off the road in the hope of driving to ‘nothing’ but were continually met with fences, closed aboriginal land and sacred grounds in which we could not cross. Where was this vast land we dreamed so much of?

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As I sat, defeated, on a derelict park bench overlooking the Gulf of Queensland, I realised that my expectations had drowned my experience. It felt as if my great adventure had consistently been so far from my reach, and that whole time I had been simply chasing my exploration of a lifetime. That was it, the last straw- this was not the life I wanted yet I had nothing to go back to. Maybe it was the bottle of Chandon I was drinking, or the fact that I turned 22, but that day I let go of all control and expectations. I was already on my journey, and it was goddam magical. My great Australian van-life home is complete.a

 

Diary Travel Tips

Flying Free: Travel after University

August 17, 2015

So, all your friends have already flown the coop while you slave away for your fourth and final year of studies. They’ve managed to score ideal post-grad jobs already, or started travelling to places you can only dream about. Finally, its your chance, classes have finished and you’re done. Free. Only, by choosing to live without a housemate in your last year your bank account resembles the crumbs of fluff in your empty pockets. This is how I found myself. How could I possibly itch the bug of travel after university?

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Throughout my childhood in Far North Queensland, Australia, I dreamed of working on the dive boats – a simple and pure life, in the water and under the sun, and now my chance has come. I’ve packed up my entire life, said farewell to the closest friends I have ever made, and convinced my boyfriend to follow me back home to the Northern Beaches of Cairns.

One tiny hatchback stuffed to the brim with homewards, clothes, trinkets, eventually a bike, and a heart full of ambition to live out simpler days of no exams or assessment pieces in sunny Far North Queensland.

The next day, I landed a job with a highly reputable company doing day trips to the Great Barrier Reef, and my job was to ensure every single person on that boat got in the water and had an incredible time. I would take non swimmers, non-english speaking swimmers, and somehow convince them to grab hold of a floaty and let me guide them through my back yard of vibrant corals and curious fish. It was an amazing experience with a wonderful crew, but the days were long, really long; and with a fixed amount of pay for the day, it didn’t matter what time we mored up at the marina, it would still be another hour of cleaning, stocking, and filling up ready for another sunrise start the next day.

A few months passed and I began to get restless. Days off were scarce and my bank account wasn’t appearing to reflect my hard work and passion for this dream job, not to mention my relationship was hanging by a thread. Turns out, sleeping every chance you get doesn’t make a nice environment for romance.

Restlessness turned into rage as I realised I was once again, stuck, unhappy. Then it hit me- my mom was on the West Coast and we had never been. Both of us, Luke and I, had a raging desire for adventure and getting off the beaten track, so we decided to pack it all in and head across Australia to reach the West. 18 months later we arrived in Perth. 18 sweet, incredible, life-changing months and unfathomable experiences later.

If you’re lost, confused, and your friends seem to be the only people with their shit together, maybe its time to look for your own future, and realise nothing is permanent. Every decision you make can take you closer to finding peace with your life. Many nights were spent curled up in a ball regretting everything and comparing my world to everyone else’s, and even now I wonder if this is right for me. Don’t let comparison confuse your goals and dreams. Graduate, get your piece of paper, and do what you love until you find something else to love. And if travel after university is all you want, then get a job (or many jobs) in the industry to make this happen. Figure out the rest from there 🙂